


Boundaries

by yodasyoyo



Series: 1008 tumblr followers! A.K.A. The Fluffy Assholes Collection. [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Curses, Derek Has a Big Dick, M/M, Magically Bound Together, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 16:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15933779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodasyoyo/pseuds/yodasyoyo
Summary: “I have to be back at Stanford in two days, Derek,” he wails, “two days! I have to give a presentation.”“I said I’ll deal with it. Now quit whining, I can’t pee when you’re arguing with me.”





	Boundaries

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo. I'm running a little fic celebration type deal thing on tumblr at the moment, in honor of me finally getting past the 1000 tumblr follower mark. So over the next week I'll be publishing little ficlets on there based on prompts people have sent me, and then also archiving them here, because I like to keep all my stuff organized on ao3, where I can find it more easily.
> 
> Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my current WIP. I'm nearly 10k into the final chapter. It will get finished. I promise you.
> 
> Written for a tumblr prompt:"Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change." prompted by the excellent nomadevans

“Okay,” Stiles says as he clutches his hand over his eyes and whirls around to face the tiled wall of the bathroom. “If we’re gonna survive this shituation, I think we’re gonna have to lay down some ground rules. Set a few boundaries.” There’s the sound of a zipper inching down and Stiles is not going to think about that. He is not.

Derek says, “We’re not gonna make up any stupid fucking rules, Stiles. Jesus. We’re just gonna find the goddamn witch that put us in this situation and I’m gonna gut on her on my claws. Problem solved.”

“And what if we need her in order to break the spell, genius? Did you think about that?”

“Stiles—”

“No. You didn’t, because you don’t think. You don’t make plans. You just act.”

“I make plans.”

“Really? Plans? You make plans? You’re suggesting the events of the past hour, or let’s be honest now, the last five years of my life since you grumped into the preserve and threw Scott’s inhaler at him, have been the result of previous planning on your part? Seriously?”

“How was I supposed to know she was a witch? She worked in Starbucks.”

Stiles eye twitches madly, he is no mood to tolerate Derek’s pathetic excuses. No mood at all. “You just ride on in. With your eyebrows, and your glare, and your attitude, pissing off witches, and getting us cursed so we can’t be more than two feet from each other without crippling pain.”

“Stiles—”

“I have to be back at Stanford in two days, Derek,” he wails, “two days! I have to give a presentation.”

“I said I’ll deal with it. Now quit whining, I can’t pee when you’re arguing with me.”

“I can’t believe this is my life,” Stiles mutters, head thunking against the tiles, as he hears the sound of urine hitting the toilet bowl. “I’m locked in a bathroom listening to the world's most annoying werewolf pee.”

“So stick your fingers in your ears,” Derek says flatly.

“I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with wanting to set boundaries while we’re stuck like this,” Stiles says, choosing to ignore that comment. “And a little bit less attitude off the idiot who got us into this mess would be appreciated.” Then something occurs to him. “By the way,” he says, wheeling back around without thinking, “what were the exact words she used to— oh my god that’s a big dick. That’s a big goddamn dick— that’s–” His hands fly to his mouth, eyes wide, transfixed on Derek’s penis. Then realizing what he’s doing but frozen in shock, he slowly he forces himself to look up and meet Derek’s eyes. He knows he’s blushing furiously, can feel it creeping up his chest and over his cheeks, but he just can’t help it, he must stink of sudden arousal, and Derek, the bastard, can definitely smell it.

Derek raises one eyebrow judgmentally. “You want rules, huh? Rule number one,” he says with just the hint of a smirk. “Don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.“

Stiles swallows, hands shaking slightly. Slowly, oh so slowly, he turns away again to face the wall, eyes scrunched tight. He listens as Derek shakes off, tucks himself in and zips up, feeling like a fucking creeper. “I hate my life,” he moans, “and I hate you.”

Derek’s washing his hands, but all Stiles can think about now is Derek’s perfect penis. Because of course he has a perfect penis. Of course he does. And now, Stiles isn’t even gonna be allowed five minutes to jerk off in peace while he thinks about it, because he and Derek are magically bound together for the foreseeable future. Fuck.

“Me and my big goddamn dick are ready to go now,” Derek whispers into Stiles' ear, making him jump in shock.

“When we find her again,” Stiles spits, turning to face him, “I hope she curses you so it falls off.”

“No,” Derek says, meeting his eyes steadily. He’s so close that Stiles can feel the puff of his breath grazing his cheek. “I don’t think you do.”

Stiles gulps. “I hate you,” he says. “So much hate.”

Derek sweeps past him, opens the door to the bathroom and then holds it for Stiles so he can go through.  
  
“Lie,” Derek says, with a grin. Stiles manfully resists the urge to elbow him in the gut as he walks past.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who leaves kudos or comments. It's really appreciated. 
> 
> Come join me on [tumblr!](http://yodas-yo-yo.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Edited to add a disclaimer about the title of this series: 
> 
> When I say fluffy assholes, I don't mean buttholes covered in lint. I mean that these fics are fluffy and the characters are assholes. I feel this needs to be stated. For the record, my tumblr followers are all awesome, and to my knowledge, in no way assholes, fluffy or otherwise.


End file.
